Then I saw Nancy Upton’s pictures. I thought they were brilliant because with the use of her body and food she made a satirical statement on the contest and the company behind it. I loved that her pictures mocked the sentiment that fat people eat (even slather ourselves in) unhealthy food all the time. I do not believe she was insulting the other serious contestants at all. On her blog, she encouraged votes for other women who really wanted to win the contest several times.

I think it is actually funny and very telling that Nancy won the contest. AA should see that the plus sized community is a serious community and could have used this, or perhaps even the backlash that my experience caused last year, as reasons to really try to understand the potential of treating plus sized women with respect, and how that could go a long way in helping their struggling company. The addition of more sizes could have been done in a much more considerate, responsible way.

As far as the mention of my experience in the open letter from American Apparel creative director Iris Alonzo, I think it is a year and 4 months too late to acknowledge what happened to me. I am surprised that they were even aware of my situation, because I was never responded to or contacted by anyone from American Apparel last year. I also highly doubt that they “don’t recall the name of the confused employee credited with saying that” because I was at their Downtown LA headquarters meeting with their showroom rep specifically to work on my plus sized clothing line. This woman (whose name I DO remember – Maggie P.) was well aware that I was meeting with her to find pieces for my plus sized clothing line. Her disinterested attitude during the entire meeting makes it hard to believe that she “was sadly uninformed.” And during our meeting, the only piece of clothing I was shown that went up to a size 3XL was a Men’s t-shirt. That was an article of clothing that was hardly inspiring or appropriate for the sexy, flattering clothing I to hope to create for plus sized women.

I applaud Nancy and think it is great that she made such a huge statement with her opinions and pictures and continuing an important dialogue!

**Special thanks to my friend Lillian Behrendt!**

______________________________________

Carlos Batts & April Flores Announce Free, Intimate Art Exhibit Opening at Studio Servitu on Friday, July 29

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – Los Angeles, CA — Monday, July 25, 2011 – The artist/muse team of Carlos Batts and April Flores have decided to invite the public to a very intimate look at their lives through the announcement of a free photography and art exhibit, to be held at downtown Los Angeles’ Studio Servitu on Friday, July 29th.

Carlos Batts will be exhibiting work from his series of non-digital photography collages, an ongoing series that originated from mixed media collages as well as a creative approach to darkroom techniques. The exhibit will feature Batts’ abstract cubist photography, a style which can also be seen in his film making productions.

A brief glimpse into Batts’ art photography collages can be seen on youtube.com/cbattsfly, a response to years of inquiries as to whether or not his work was made on Photoshop. Batts, who constructs one-of-a-kind negatives to produce each unique print, has embraced incorporating digital technology in his creative process, which is evident in his new film Artcore, which was shot entirely on the Kodak Zi8 and is now available on tlacult.com.

April Flores, best known for being a muse and model to artists, directors and photographers around the world, has recently stepped behind the camera to document herself during a difficult time in her life. As a way to deal with the physical and emotional pain of her recent miscarriage, April turned the camera on herself as a cathartic way to cope and grow from the experience. More about Flores’ photography series can be seen at her blog at http://fattyd.com/blog/2011/07/05/diary-of-my-miscarriage/. April Flores will be exhibiting this series of deeply personal self-portraits in conjunction with new photo-collages by Batts.

More information about the exhibition can be seen at http://twitter.com/fatty_d, http://fattyd.com and http://carlosbatts.com .

Although the exhibition is free to the public, visitors are asked to RSVP for the event, which will be from 7pm to 11pm at downtown Los Angeles art/dungeon space Studio Servitu, located at 800 McGarry Street, LA, CA 90021.

Reservations to be placed on the guest list can be made by contacting Studio Servitu at studioservitu@gmail.com. For all media and interview inquiries, please contact Kelly@ThePRSMGroup.com.

The event does require an RSVP to either studioservitu@gmail.com or my email fattydelicious@gmail.com.

PRESS RELEASE

Carlos Batts x April Flores Photography & Art Exhibit Opening Date Friday July 29th

April Flores Exhibiting Self Portraits

April Flores is best known for being a muse and model to artists, directors and photographers around the world. Recently April stepped behind the camera to document herself during a difficult time in her life. As a way to deal with the physical and emotional pain of a miscarriage, April turned the camera on herself as a cathartic way to cope and grow from the experience. You can read more about this photography series on her blog at http://fattyd.com/blog/2011/07/05/diary-of-my-miscarriage/. April Flores will be exhibiting this series of deeply personal self portraits in conjunction with new photo-collages by Carlos Batts.

Carlos Batts Art Exhibit

Carlos Batts will be exhibiting work from his series of non digital photography collages. This is an ongoing series that originated from Batts creating mixed media collages as well as using a creative approach to darkroom techniques. He creates abstract cubist photography, a style which can also be seen in his film making productions. Batts constructs a one of kind negative to produce each unique print.

A brief glimpse into Batts working on his art photography collages can be seen on youtube.com/cbattsfly. After many years of being asked if his work was made on Photoshop, a brief sequence of his process has been uploaded and shared. Batts has embraced incorporating digital technology in his creative process, which is evident in his new film Artcore. Artcore was shot entirely on the Kodak Zi8 and is now available on tlacult.com.

Carlos Batts x April Flores Photography & Art Exhibit
Date: FRIDAY July 29, 2011
Location:: Studio Servitu
Time: 7-11pm
RSVP:
studioservitu@gmail.com

visit:

Carlosbatts.com

fattyd.com

On Sat, Jul 2, 2011 at 7:02 AM
day 2
doctor: im…im going to be straight forward with you. it looks like you are having a miscarriage.

the embryo is only 6 weeks and 3 days. he makes me feel like a fraud. like i have been living a lie and leading everyone on to be happy for me and to think i was carrying a baby

i’m bleeding into the tub looking at the big deep red clots coming from inside me wondering…. was that the tissue that was supposed to be my baby. the tissue that was to grow and become the person i would love like no other.

yesterday i felt like super woman. today i feel like a failed woman.

i feel like i am being punished for having two abortions. my mom says that God is not a punishing God and to not think that.

i wish they made vicodin for sadness

two days ago i was looking at my us weekly magazine, identifying with the women on the “baby bump watch” list pictures. envisioning myself wearing a long flowy floral dress holding my stomach as the wind softly blew my hair to make me look like fertile sexy WOMAN

part of me feels like i want to have sex with anyone and everyone. like i want to be careless and in stark contrast to the protective, inverted version of myself i had become in the past two months.

i want to drink and get so drunk out of my mind. have sex with random strangers.

tonight i ate some mexican cheese and had coke. i had caffeine. the thing that i had not had but craved like mad in the past two months. it wasn’t that good

all of me wants to be reckless but 1/2 of me wants to stay pure.

i think that the baby is up in heaven with my father. my sister agrees. but what gave this fetus a soul? did my other two aborted fetuses have souls too? what about them?

i keep hearing names and i was so used to considering every name i heard. now every name i hear makes my heart sinks a little

i go onto miscarriage message boards and the women have little banners counting the days since they lost their baby. one says i love you even though we never met. i am not sure i feel the same way. did i love the fetus that was growing inside me? the thing that was making me see my life and make me examine the woman i am and the woman i needed to become? i am not sure. i know i was in love with the ideas of what could become

On Sun, Jul 3, 2011 at 1:21 PM
day 3
i was so foolish to think that the bleeding would be over last night. this morning the cramps and bleeding are back strong. i am expelling huge blood clots or the lining of the uterus. two times i have felt clots coming out and tried to make them land into the toilet but they fall to the floor before i can sit on the toilet. blood is splattered all over the bathroom floor and running down my legs.

i am in shock. i look at the clots and wonder if any of them contain the cluster of cells that was the fetus. i just stand there with the blood running down my legs and stare at the bloody mess. i touch each clot, feeling around but i am not sure what i am looking for. it is sort of beautiful in some way. i feel so much physical and emotional pain but i feel like it is real life.

in a rage of anger i tell my husband that i wish he was going thru this and not me. i know its mean, but right now i feel like no one understands what i am going thru. i am so angry at the doctor for giving me zero warning of the physical and emotional pain that was ahead of me. i wish he could have just taken everything out at once while i was in the ER or in his office. but i get it. that is a separate procedure. i have medi cal and it was the friday afternoon 3pm before the long holiday weekend.

i am going to have to go thru this naturally. let it all pass. the only thing that gives me strength is knowing that so many women have gone through this before me. i am feeling their strength inside. i am also feeling so compassionate about the women who have suffered through more than one of these.

i’m tired of going through a pad every few minutes so i decide to just sit at the edge of the tub and let it come out. the bright red of the blood against the white of the tub fascinates me. my small window less bathroom fills with the strong mineral scene of the blood. carlos is furiously cleaning the bloody floor and toilet with lysol wipes and the room smells like blood and lysol.

On Sun, Jul 3, 2011 at 1:37 PM
it hurts so much. i think i am having contractions. it feels better if i walk around. i remember when my dog Joy was in labor. she was walking around a lot too. smart bitch.

On Mon, Jul 4, 2011 at 10:54 AM
day 4
i have stopped taking the prenatal pills i have been taking since january. i dont know if i want to continue taking them or if i even want to try again.

i am documenting the blood that is coming out of my body. i want to do a blog and post my experience with the bloody pictures on my site. i know it will not be received well by most people. is it crude, in bad taste, too graphic, just plain wrong? yes it is all of those things. but i dont care. it is real. it is what happens to real women all the time. there are tons of highly graphic and sexualized images of me online already. which i am totally and completely proud of. but if that is ok, then why cant these images be ok? it is what is happening to me. it is real. this happens to many women. i am documenting what i am going through. and i am doing it for the selfish reason of catharsis. documenting the blood dripping down my legs onto the floor and onto my bathtub eases both the physical pain i am feeling at the moment and the emotional pain i feel when each thick clot leaves my body. instead of focusing on wondering which clot contains the embryo of my never developed dream i am focusing on how visually stunning the red blood looks against my skin. so what? i have used sex and sexual images to make statements before. these images are in no way sexual, but they are real and this is what real women go through. if one end of the spectrum can be expressed, then why cant i express the other end of what i am going through. i am not doing this for reaction, i am simply and purely expressing what i am going through in all its raw forms. looking at this through an artistic perspective gives me the distance that i need. doing it this way is the only thing that is preventing me from crying my eyes out like i did on day 1. i dont want to cry. maybe this is the only way i can feel that i can have a certain control over a situation i really have no control over at all.

On Tue, Jul 5, 2011 at 4:08 PM
day 5
i am pissed off!!! i was supposed to see my doctor today for a follow up exam and i was brushed off by his idiot staff because he was too busy. i am so frustrated…. beyond words. i would like to know that everything has passed the way it should have. the bleeding has pretty much stopped.

i have been reading things online that have helped. a great article i read said that the body knows how to take care of itself.

last night sitting in my dark apartment looking out at the 180 degree of los angeles seeing all the fireworks illuminate the sky, hearing all the whistles and booms from the fireworks, i felt so small. i felt small the way i do when i am standing staring out into the ocean. it felt good to feel so small. i felt like i was a part of this living, breathing city i love to hate. i felt connected to the world. somehow in that smallness i found comfort laying on my bed in my husband’s arms.

i am sad that i had to go through this, but also grateful. this experience has made me stronger. it has brought my husband and i closer together. i have perspective. he and i have gone through so much and in the end we always support each other, coming out stronger as individuals and as a team. true partners in every sense of the word. i am in no way happy that this happened but like all my struggles i have survived through, i am a different person. stronger. more of who i am supposed to become.

It is so wonderfully exciting that ARTCORE has gotten so many great things said about it so far! This film was created out of pure love and expression and is the third film in a series by Carlos Batts and I. In this series we have documented and shared our lives, photo shoots, explored our creative process, and collaboratively expressed sexuality with our peers and friends.

The first in the series was AlterEgo, then Voluptuous Life and now ARTCORE. I prefer to think of these movies as Art Films with sex in them, as opposed to a “artsy porn”.

I am very thankful for the support and comprehension of this film by others!

Queer Porn Icon Courtney Trouble (who also stars in the film) says, “this film is the evolution of hardcore pornography, drawing inspiration from both the fluidity of queer porn as well as a sinful parody on the way technology is used in pornography.”

Longtime friend and supporter Violet Blue says of the work, “Another vibrant, necessary set of voices are being represented here that are continually overlooked by mainstream sex entertainment media and anti-porn pundits alike.”

The super cute J.D. at HotMoviesForHer.com comments, “Each of the four scenes is totally different from the next, creating a multi-layered porno adventure that has me glued to the screen in anticipation of what comes next.”

Sexis magazine writes, “Carlos and April step further outside the boundaries of traditional porn and into a realm of postmodern erotic art and sensibility.”

And Art Critic Mat Gleason wrote that it is “The artsiest, edgiest pornographic movie in years” in his Huffington Post L.A. Art World Gossip blog.

Opinions like the one above, are the main reason that for the past year I have been interviewing my friends for a documentary I am directing called The Women I Know. I have wanted to create this documentary for years, and have (finally) been gathering interviews. I have had the honor and pleasure of interviewing my friends and peers: Syd Blakovich, Kelly Shibari, Dylan Ryan, Jiz Lee, Courtney Trouble, and Oriana aka Ashley Blue.

I am doing this documentary because some of the most interesting, genuine, sincere, driven women I have met have also been adult performers and/or working in the sex industry. I am so tired of people recycling old ideas and projecting their opinions on why they think we choose sex work. I have read countless opinions about our lives and what people think our motivations are. They often create these false views on us which are judgmental and entirely inaccurate.

We are not victims; we are doing this by choice and having a whole lot of fun while doing it. We are not damaged or unambitious or destroying our lives. We are defining and in control of our sexuality in our own terms.

I hope to interview more because there are so many inspiring women I have met, worked with, admire, and learned from. I plan on interviewing performers, sex educators, and directors who are all female and creating sex positive work. I strongly believe in this project and know that it will be powerful because the women featured are powerful!

Check out this post on my friend Sara Rosen’s blog. Carlos & I had been working with her to hopefully make my book FAT GIRL become a reality and someday be published. It never came to be, but Miss Rosen still believes in the project and posted my introduction letter to the book. Hope you like it!

Maybe she should write the next BBW article for that magazine? Either way, I think it’s great more people are sharing their opinions. More discussion = more change! Enjoy!

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In the past, BBW movies received far less respect than they deserved. Shot on a shoestring budget, most featured ample women getting screwed (badly) by less than stellar actors and in the very lamest locations. But now things are changing. Today many of the industry’s mainstream studios are devoting top-notch production values to these films, allowing those who love larger ladies the opportunity to jack off to women who embody their ideal of feminine beauty.

After exchanging actresses’ nondescript, loose-fitting clothes for high-end lingerie, provocative fetish wear and bikinis, studios now showcase Rubenesque women as glamor models. This trend crosses all racial and fetish lines. Choices abound for men who prefer their thick chicks black or white and getting nasty with men who are black or white. Studios are building loyal followings by demonstrating what some of us have known all along: Large women have as much fun in the sack as do their thin counterparts.

Many studios dish out extensive libraries of titles for resellers intent on increasing BBW sales. They coax awesome performances from the most gorgeous curvy chicks in the biz, making it easy to serve up these sexy products to consumers who crave them.

At a time when the country’s broke and people turn toward more realistic and less idealistic thoughts, videos featuring lovely big women remind us that a performer don’t have to look like the stereotypical porn-star in order to leave her fans begging for seconds.

Chris, shared an email he sent to the owner of AVN and included the response. This is pretty great.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Comment by Chris

I wrote to the owner of AVN and said:

Hi,

My name is Chris and I am very dissatisfied with the words your managing editor decided to use for one of his articles on BBW models and movies. His name is Nelson X. The most offensive thing he said was

that the movies “remind us that the girl-next-door doesn’t look like Jesse Jane and will, indeed, blow any loser for the cost of a Wendy’s Baconator”

I among other people are very angry at his comments. My wife is plus sized and believes that people who say the things that he said are ignorant. I just can’t believe that this even got published. thank you for your time.

Chris

he then replied and said:

Hi-

After some research I agree with you. This was in bad taste. We are changing (stronger) an already announced policy and making it enforcable so this won’t happen again. We have plenty of plus-sized employees and, ironically, the write ris anything but a thin person. We are ensuring that this type of shoddy, distasteful “journalism”
does not happen again.

May we print your letter? And feel free to call me if you’d like to discuss further.

Thanks

Paul Fishbein